Ronaldo came to Australia from Brazil looking adventure instead what he found was home. Settling on the Gold Coast Ronaldo’s open and friendly manner is both energizing and inspiring and his passion for nutrition and cooking stems from having experienced health challenges himself as a child. He’s spoken both nationally and internationally on the principles of nutrition to benefit people’s health by preventing diseases and ultimately as he sees it saving lives! He loves and respects food and knows that fresh ingredients have to be used adequately to preserve maximum nutrition and bio availability. Ronaldo has already published his first cookbook, is a chef on the Gold Coast and is a personal trainer to friends in his spare time.

I do not watch this show on purpose as I find it very confronting, but it’s hard to avoid the adverts for it.  Of course there are grossly obese people who have totally lost control of their lives and their eating, and, believe me, I am more than qualified to comment as an ex-fatty. But what troubles me is the indignity that the participants are put through in the name of reality television.

We all know, or at least suspect, that vigorous exercise is needed to peel off the weight, but is that any justification for exposing these poor people to the high risk of heart attack and crippling embarrassment? They will need counselling afterwards, but I believe they should have it before they embark on this obscenity of a show.

Self love is not best expressed by gobbling quantities of chips n chocolate! And it is a lack of self love that creates the problem in the first place. Not lack of money, not family habits, not lack of food information, not learned behaviour, just a pattern. The reward of looking good from not eating is simply not enough.  Food is an expression of someone providing for us. Even if it is only the guy at the fast food outlet, unconsciously we are being given something we need.

Step back. What need? Clearly there will always be enough food in our society, unlike other countries. (It is not helpful for the starving millions in China for you to gorge your food and finish the plate)

How do you love yourself and make up for the various missing things in our lives? How do you sort out whether it was your mother and/or father who didn’t love you enough, or whether you have no satisfying job to go to? Maybe you’re trapped in a so-so marriage or other relationship. Maybe going to the fridge is easier than going for a walk.  And does it matter which trigger has caused your self-destruction? The outcome is the same.

Overweight people have multiple factors at work and nothing is easy in this area. From the outside a couple of facts have to recognised:

1. Stopping… eating… works. How do we know? Because all the lap bands, all the gastric by-passes, all the diet regimes and hunger strikes in the world all work the same way, i.e. less food is consumed, dramatically less food in most cases.
2. Healthy food can still have too many calories/kilojoules. We are after less nutrition, not more.
3. After the age of 50, wait for it girls, we only need one meal a day. We can afford to have a couple of low carb snacks but only one meal. Believe me.

The Maura McGill Theory is that there is no tribal survival value is giving valuable food to an older woman. Older men can still hunt. Young women can have more children, and children themselves have to eat to grow. But we old chicks have to recognise that we are supposed to sit at the back of the campfire and eat the scraps!

I know I’ve said some of this before but the Biggest Loser dramas on screen seem to me to make people, who are already suffering, into freak shows for the entertainment of the masses.  Watching gross bellies wobbling in the surf, sweating in a gym, crying with shame and embarrassment, is truly obscene. God help them. How can their self esteem ever recover when they see themselves on screen? I already have trouble exposing my poor legs on the beach, but I would die with shame if I thought anyone would have it on YouTube for the rest of time.

How best to help this community-wide problem?

1. Don’t make sugar and carbs into treats, either for yourself or your family, especially children.
2. Have water first every time you reach for sugar. That will associate the fairly boring taste of water with the sugar/chocolate you eat afterwards.
3. Even while the snack is on it’s way to your mouth, in your hand, say to yourself “I don’t eat chocolate/chips/whatever”. Gradually you will brainwash yourself, or self-hypnotise, and the result will be that your brain will win!
4. Learn to walk for exercise. No handbag, no shopping, nothing on your mind, just enjoy the walk. Be present in the moment, as the new age-ers say. You never know who you might run into, or what you might notice; and if you are not by nature a walker, just start with 10 or 20 minutes to break yourself in gently. It is not a race, it’s pleasure we are looking for as a reward for change.
5. Only weigh yourself naked, before breakfast (and after going to the toilet) but not every day. Once or twice a week is enough. We all have enough stress in our lives so there’s no point beating ourselves up as well as the outside world giving us a hard time.

And remember, everyone ages. Some do it well, some badly, but never lose your self respect even if your body shows the effect of time. Your soul is more important and yourself esteem will carry you through many a tough time.

Pray for those on the Biggest Loser!

Blessings

Maura

Long ago when I was a child, my family owned a pub in Ireland and New Year’s Eve was always a big night. It meant work for the whole family but somehow being there at other people’s party celebrations increased our excitement too. There was always food and music and, of course, lots to drink. The general hilarity was such as can only be found in an Irish pub!

But we should not lose interest in new beginnings just because we have grown up. Our lives are full of choices, some guided by wisdom, some by emotion, and most of all by feelings. Getting our emotions and feelings into our consciousness is not as easy as it sounds. We have to try and be aware of our reactions and see that we have chosen to react that way, but also that there might be other ways to react.

Most people find that their feelings about something will have a huge role in choosing how to react. That is usually because the feeling centre, or emotional centre, of the brain is geographically very close to the pituitary gland, which is the hormone control centre of the body. When the pituitary goes berserk, or the emotions go berserk, and vice versatile as each has a dramatic effect on the other, making emotion-driven actions our preferred choice.

However, it has been shown that emotions do not always dictate our actions. Sometimes acting differently will change the emotions! So acting happy ends up making you feel happy! Acting out of love makes you feel loving. Also, acting with forgiveness makes you feel forgiveness.

And if we always react from strong emotions, we miss out on those gentle moments of smooth, calm emotions that make, for instance, poetry or art a pleasure. We also miss out on appreciating all we have to be grateful for.

On this New Year’s Eve we who no longer stay up until midnight, or go to big parties, can opt instead to be gently grateful for all we have. We know at last who we really are. We know that some things we did (and maybe continue to do) were not very wise but might have been worth the fall-out, and some were not!

Further, we also know that we can dream and see them come true, most if not all of the time! Making resolutions is old hat. Making up dreams, and working towards your dreams, is so much more inspiring and exciting. Make a list, like the bucket list we made at the 2-day event I ran. Things that you are going to do this year. Include wishes for world peace if you want, but add something you yourself can contribute to that cause. Join Amnesty International, for instance, or sponsor a child in World Vision.

Or we could simply decide to learn how to use our minds and spirits to help those around us. There is a chance for us to regain that youthful enthusiasm for NYE if we take time to think of something we can do and look forward to in 2012. The beauty of new years is that they bring a sense of closure and re-start, a fresh view of the world, of dreams we create to lead us forward. There are skills to learn in the mind-body area that can enrich our lives enormously, without having to stay up until midnight!!

For the sake of our planet, our fellow humans, our family and our own souls, take a moment to be glad. Be grateful we live where we do, be open to new dreams and projects, however humble, and sleep well on 31 January knowing the new year will bring you joy and peace, God willing!

Blessings

Maura

Maybe I can re-gift them? But oh, the horror, what about if I give those
hideous padded hangers to the girl next door, and she gives them to the guy
who washes her car, and he gives them to his auntie, who is my patient and
she……. gives them back to me?!!!

&@)/$&@!

So accordingly I do not re-gift, just in case.

But I AM guilty of buying something for myself, which I liked, and still
like, and then have had to move it to a friend I temporarily forgot! There
are quite a few friends who are the accidental recipients of my chosen
self-gifts. When you live alone you sometimes find yourself buying things ”
for my birthday” or ” for Christmas” on the basis that those Mr Men
I married would have spent at least _some_ of _my _money on a gift for me.

But alas I have had to declare 2012 a ‘shoe-free’ year. So I only have 13
days to go! But if I buy even one more _single_ shoe I will be ‘divorced’ by
my beautiful assistant. She recently moved me ( and all my clothes and
‘stuff’) into a different bedroom in my house and vowed and declared that I
was not allowed to bring any more of _anything_ into the house. So
especially shoes are out of the question. Well, for 2012 at least.

Where does this compulsion come from? Many, many women have the same
feelings and will admit it to me behind closed doors. But what causes it? I
am not sure I want to be cured of this disease. I love my shoes. They make
me feel properly dressed. Maybe because of all those years when I had one
pair of shoes for school. Brown, too big ( so I could grow into them) and
now I have these curly toes from grabbing the insides as hard as I could so
I could run and play etc.

But I digress.

We should never re-gift. Give things to charity so someone who really needs
them can have them. But if you are passing by and see padded hangers in my
room…. Pass right by and know they are not for you. Well, not this year!!

Be well, love everyone around you, even when it’s difficult.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Love Maura

How do we cope with constant external change? Clearly people do. Think of
army personnel regularly moved from place to place with their
families,changing workplaces, changing schools. Yet the world is not full of
ex-army sociopaths. So how do they do it?

Pause to think of young people volunteering around the world in different
places. Some never return permanently. Some cannot wait to get home and
settle down. Neither is perfect but each one finds their own way.

Change was never a problem for me. I happily moved house over and over, ever
new towns or cities, new friends and new opportunities to explore. I did not
have my parents around me, though I always knew they were there (in Ireland,
of course). Maybe that is the clue. There was always a path back if I needed
it. What if there is no path back? Where do you find the stability to stand
up and move forward?

The single constant that is present in our lives, however foolhardy, or
footloose, we may have been is the power of friends and family. If we have
someone to talk to who will accept us as we are, that gives great strength
and courage. Mostly we have dysfunctional families. The more I hear of my
friends’ family issues, the more I realise there is no such thing as the
perfect family, happy and supportive whatever happens.

Your crisis will occur on the same day your mother’s house is broken into.
Or your job will disappear from under you just when you didn’t see it coming
and your brother’s wife goes into labour. It is not always possible to find
an ear to listen when you exactly need it. Sometimes you have to wait for
sympathy until the other crisis has passed.

Life is like a storm. It passes. Asking to remain the same throughout all
circumstances is unrealistic. The people, the timing and the lessons emerge
in their own good time, not necessarily when you think you need them. If
you can just weather the changes that are brought about by time and place,
hanging on to what is most important to you, you can go along with most
changes.

In my case the constant was my two boys, whom I have always adored and let
them know that nothing, ever, would make me not love them. Of course they
have caused me grief from time to time, even often, as they were growing up.
But there was never a time when I wanted to hand them back. Thanks to the
good lord they have not been in circumstances where I have had to give up
care of them to others, and my heart goes out to those mothers whose
children have such severe disabilities that they cannot be cared for at
home.

How would we cope with that? Trust that you are, right now,exactly on the
very spot you were supposed to be in this lifetime. You and the Universal
Energy, God, the Divine, Nature, Allah or whatever you believe in, have
chosen this moment. So trust it is going to be OK. Go with the changes. Be
strong like water, not like a volcano. Let life take you where you are meant
to go and be glad.

Love always wins.
Maura

We know how frustrating it is to get your point across even to one’s own generation sometimes if they are on another mind set. So what are the consequences of allowing our children and even our young adults to get away without knowing the rudiments of good conversation?

There are people that we all call bores who keep on and on about their pet subject even though all the body language indicates their companions have tuned out.  It is a social agony to be stuck with someone who ‘spouts’ all the time without the merest interest in anyone else, or even sharing the talk-time around. You would think they had been an invited speaker!

The other pet peeve I have is someone who so dominates the subject under discussion that even when someone comments or interjects they reply. And reply to the next one too. And the next one. Sorry, but this is a group discussion and not everyone wants to talk to you all night, not unless you are Stephen Fry in disguise!

But back to our young people. Kids of all ages have always shared a sort of slang that their comrades know as a semi-secret language, but it was never a threat to community safety and socialisation until recently. I recall the pirate radio stations we used to listen to when my parents allowed us to get close to the radio. And close we had to be, as they were brought up on Bing Crosby and we wanted to listen to the Beatles! Dad insisted the volume be kept down to where he could not hear it and we only had one radio, never mind one in the bedroom, or, God Forbid, a TV in the bedroom!

In case you think my concerns are trivial, consider this…. There is a whole generation of children who do not know how to use cutlery since all of their meals have been fast food, eaten by hand! Now it seems there may be a whole generation that have no idea how to manage a group discussion with decency, manners and allowing everyone a fair chance to state their position.  There are already communication problems between one social group and another; see any industrial relations dispute as an example. What if there is such a gap that one group cannot adequately understand the point of view of the other?

There are frightening possibilities when we realise that it is the young people of today that will be the middle-aged of tomorrow, and looking after the elderly in their nursing homes in the future. That will be me, being looked after by an X-box freak I cant talk to.  Is that what we want?

I am just hoping that enough general education, enough university places, enough mixing of age groups will occur so that we can bridge the gap. But it starts today, with the presents you buy them for Christmas when they are aged 6-12.  If they are electronic presents, make sure they are not allowed at the family dinner table. You DO have a family dinner table, don’t you??

Be well

Maura

However, we have always existed in an energy universe. The technical geeks have not created the energy, just harnessed it by using methods they have discovered. So how come we haven’t developed the innate ability to ‘use’ the energies that surround us? We have! We have forgotten how, that’s all.

We discussed this at my Mind-Body Medicine High Tea on the Gold Coast recently which, some of my patients who attended tell me was energising and inspiring. You see, the energy universe has always been there. Radio signals did not come into being just when we discovered them. They existed before, but we didn’t know. Similarly, magnetic resonance, as a science, is very new but magnetism has always been there.

Generations ago humans were able to be much more trusting of their intuition, and made decisions based on facts as well as the internal feelings about things, because they were not told in school, or at home, to ignore those intuitions. The development of the scientific era meant that all of a sudden mankind (and womankind) were encouraged to view intuition as superstition or too ‘woo-woo’ if decisions did not conform to the provable facts. Deductions were ‘rational’ and therefore acceptable but modern man has tuned off his internal antennae and much of what we once could feel now passes us by.

When I lecture on mid life issues I take a whole segment of time to open my listeners up to the whole energy universe idea and try to show that we can, and should, use the talents we have or can develop so as to improve our natural abilities. Sometimes I am criticised for introducing such thoughts, probably because they tread on people’s religious toes.

But I don’t mean to cross over into any form of religious belief. The natural world is exactly as it was created for us to explore, understand and use as God or the Creator intended. Whatever your core beliefs, you probably don’t disapprove of radio, so why disapprove of using the energy power of our minds to produce a good result?

I am a Reiki Master from the Usui system of Reiki and the best thing about Reiki is the ability to utilise skills across any boundaries, whether social, physical or religious. The energy is still part of the natural world, available to all, not just a select elite. I don’t use my Reiki anything like as often as I should, being so busy all the time. But I just had a lovely person ask for me to send them some Reiki energy at a distance and I suddenly thought of how radio-like it is, and yet we are not aware of it around us.

Many of my followers read my blogs and I hear that the menopause-related topics are not the only ones to stir up discussion! So much so that I plan to spend more time talking about all of the areas of mid life at “Hormones, Health & Healing” my 2 day event in May, because at this age, we have gathered enough experience to be able to extend our knowledge base and experience different things in a considered way. We can also enjoy things more, and maybe if we learn to use the energy universe, we can enrich our lives and those around us even more.

Blessings!

Maura

PS  If you attended my High Tea on Sunday I would love to hear your thoughts, please click on the icon in the top right of this blog and leave me a comment.

Some people think they would like to explore more of the subject of mind-body medicine and for just a few of you I am thinking of putting together a table at a local restaurant (on the Gold Coast) to discuss further developments in this area. For the duration of either lunch or afternoon tea we could sit around in a small group and I can tell you some of the more amazing things emerging in this field.

If you would be interested in joining me at this table, it will cost you about $45 including a $5 donation to the Jane McGrath Breast Cancer Foundation.   The date will not be fixed until I see whether you might be interested, so please email me at info@drmauramcgill.com and I will decide how many I can fit in!

It is a big shock to have to re-invent yourself at menopause. The idea that everyone goes through it so you should be able to ‘get over it!’  is unfair to those who have been beautiful all their lives. I speak at my seminars about true beauty coming from the soul, etc but we all know that even if we don’t live it day to day. We praise our pretty children and quite obviously NOT praise the more ‘homely’, as they say in the US.  Unless we know they have other attributes that can honestly be praised instead.

And that creates a monster problem, both for the pretty one and the clever one, which latter girl is condemned to exercise her brain her whole life but can never really meet the standard of the beautiful one. Know anyone like that?

But time fixes all that. Wits last, looks don’t. Now there are women everywhere who have been told they are beautiful, have entered beauty contests, some from an early age, and it is about to be taken from them by those twin perils, time and gravity.

Unless you, and it may so easily be you, take time out to deal with the crisis of looming middle then old age. How to manage it? Firstly take stock.

No one has everything. What do you have? We all know too well what we don’t have, so no use going there all the time. They say happiness consists of: something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to. A lot of women think someone to love means a husband/partner/lover but friends and children can also fulfill this role.

There is no shortage of ‘something to do’ in this world but if your days are idle, then find someone to help at least. My life is way too busy right now so if I sound a tad unsympathetic to those with idle hours, I assure you it’s just envy.

Where I’m really going with this is to a place where all women, even the pretty ones, can find that age is a bonus, a treat, an unexpected gift. No one is going to expect you to carry all the shopping if you have company. No one is going to insist you wear a bikini ( on the grounds of public safety, I have always avoided them; don’t want a riot of protest). No one is going to expect you to be an adept at computers, the fact that you can email or text seems to satisfy most people.

So there are whole areas of life we don’t have to deal with if we really don’t want to. I dropped a packet in the supermarket the other day. Picking things up off the floor is one of the remaining challenges from my back operation. I simply looked helplessly at a passing customer half my age and she very kindly sprang into action to help the ‘old dear’ as I smiled my thanks. See? That was easy. She doesn’t need to knowI am capable of instant life and death decisions in the clinic, along as I am content to let her feel useful for a moment!

Words become ever more important as we get older and deal with life changes, like menopause, but there are many others.  Words should be spoken with more care since we are past the age of blurting out whatever crosses our diminishing minds! Forgiving an older woman for an unintended slur is hard. Best not to go there in the first place. Besides, a silence is often the best retort when things are hot, conversationally, that is.

Freedom to be who you want to be only comes after you have given the young years to your parents by way of educational effort, then the middle years you give to your children as a parent, the rest are for…. You!

If you have had the blessing of true beauty when younger, then for Heaven’s sake don’t give up now on dressing well, good make-up and losing weight. Which, by the way, is the same for us all, whether good looking or otherwise.

No more dowdy clothes, no more crappy shoes, no more cinched waists and keep those hemlines down! Sad sight at the same supermarket… The woman had obviously been given great legs and thin ankles when younger (so jealous) but forgot that as her stomach grew bigger the hemline stood out a long way from her legs and the skirt was so short I was scared she would have to bend to pick something from low down in which case she might as well not have been wearing a skirt at all!  Old knees are not pretty, no matter who you are.

The best advice I ever had, which has seen me through events both tragic and wonderful, is to smile. A smile costs nothing and can mean everything. It softens the heart, uplifts the spirits and turns a sad face into a radiant one.

When there is no money, no love and no hope, then is when you need a smile.  It changes lives, yours most of all.

Be well

Maura