What makes it so hard to date over the age of 50? Lack of confidence, fear of being too old, lack of practice, too much competition, the reasons for fear are many and varied. We often find ourselves not bothering when the weight of living life is too heavy. There is so much competing for our attention that there seems to be no time left over for ourselves. Beware, you give up that time at your own peril.
It’s easy to wear the same clothes, the same way year after year without changing your look, to go without clothes that match, colours that complement, skin that has no make-up and hair that has not seen a cut for a long time. What you can end up with is an old woman, sheltering inside clothes that scream “Don’t look at me, don’t look at me!”.
You want to know the secret to a Super Hot MidLife? It’s all in how you think of yourself. You’ll need to set aside your current view of yourself, convert yourself from a frightened, wizened, crouching old crone to a real woman, standing tall, looking the world in the eye and calmly challenging anyone to take away your confidence, you’ll need to be ready to smile and laugh at what happens next!
I saw a lovely woman out shopping. She was about 60 or so, I’m guessing, and had on all the same clothes individually that we all have in our wardrobe, but she had the T-shirt on OVER the long sleeve top and the scarf worn as beads but wrapped twice around the back and dangling down the front on each side. Her face was subtly made up and she held her head up high, looking as though she was ready to break into a smile at any minute. You remember, the same feeling that makes you look as though you have just got out of bed from a fantastic lover!
In fact, you can try this trick yourself. Hold your head up while in a crowded place like a shopping centre. Smile to yourself and look properly out of your eyes! You know what I mean. Don’t just look to find your way without bumping into people, but really look at them as they pass. Make eye contact. It is quite confronting at first, but gradually as the smile emerges, you will find people smiling back at you!
Being ready to smile at the world is the first step. Then try doing a small kindness for someone, without recognition, if you can. You have probably heard of the Random Acts of Kindness movement? Go find someone who needs something, even something small like taking your place in the check-out queue, or whose parking meter has run out. Give them your place, or your 10 cents. The benefit is not for them, it is for you! The difference it makes for you is enormous. You will then be ready to smile at the world and thereby attract more good things to yourself.
What has this got to do with dating?! Well we can dress however we like, but to think ourselves into a different space, we find we will be way more attractive to others! If you have a sense of immediate fun and smiling, if we can take the moment and enjoy it and pass that enjoyment on to others, we find that we become a vortex to others. Choose wisely, as it will attract lots of people into your circle. Some may not be there as potential lovers, but as friends, be discerning, enjoy the variety without allowing your privacy to be encroached upon UNLESS there is real value in the person.
As you all know, my primary purpose at work is to manage hormones naturally through mid-life. But I am constantly faced with women who also need to see themselves differently, treat themselves to cost-free treats, and learn to enjoy their own company before trying to reach out to dating organizations to fill the void. Be your own best friend get your hormones and physical health under control, then see yourself in a new light. There are thousands of self-help books but you have to look out from that sheltered cave that you have been hiding in and touch the world. Tell it to move over, YOU’RE BACK!
